"Master gave me clothes!"

I've been a stay at home mom for almost 7 years.

Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I work two days a week at a middle school. But aside from that, I've been the house elf since my first child was born. Don't get me wrong, the choice to focus more on my family than my career is one I'm happy I made. But in the last few years spending most of my time at home, I've become an avid supporter of S.P.E.W.- or the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare.

Let's face it, house elves don't always have it easy. We are loyal and hard working, and nothing makes us happier than to make our owners happy. But every once in a while I need a break, lest I end up literally looking like Dobby from sleep/soul deprivation.

The resemblance is uncanny.

 

 

 

 

I've waited. I hate to refer to it as waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, because I really have cherished the time I've spent with the girls at home and I'm sad to see it approaching an end. So let's just say I've waited for the day when I would have enough alone time to wash AND dry my hair. A girl can dream.

 

That day has finally come.

 

My youngest has started preschool two days a week. My oldest is in second grade. That gives me approximately 8 hours a week of alone time.

 

Can I get an amen?!

 

Now, I'm sure I'll end up volunteering in classes during some of that time, but not this week. And not yesterday, on the first glorious day of preschool.

 

Corinne has been waiting for this moment since Taylor was in preschool, so while some kids were crying for their moms to stay, mine was asking me to leave. Then telling me to leave. Then begging me to leave. "Don't let the door hit cha where the good Lord split cha, mom!"

 

And so I obliged.

 

I sat in my car for a few minutes, unsure where I should go for four blessed hours. I was tempted to do donuts in the parking lot like the Dukes of Hazard, whooping and hollering out the window, but I thought that might draw looks from the other mommies. One of which was solemnly crying after drop off, because she too was leaving her youngest and returning to an empty house. I'm pretty sure I can't be her friend.

 

Surely I wasn't going to spend the time cleaning the house or doing anything productive. Oh, no. Not today. This was not the time for laundry. This was the time to celebrate with pure, unapologetic laziness. I sat on the couch and watched TV, which I never do. No joke. I NEVER watch TV. Did you know there's a show on TLC, where four women go to each other's weddings and then rank them with the utmost cattiness to win a free honeymoon? Seriously. I can't believe what I've been missing these past few years.

 

Since I was on a mission to reward myself for...well, for just being awesome, I chucked my healthy diet out the window as well. While watching trash TV, I drank two, yes two, Diet Cokes. I ate 3 pieces of left over pizza, and mini bread sticks dipped in Nutella. I eventually got to shower and wash my hair, and then.....I dried it. I didn't throw it in a messy bun, or pretend to love my naturally curly white girl afro. I blew it straight, and flat ironed it. I plucked my eyebrows. I painted my nails. My God, I felt like a new woman.

 

Tomorrow is another day of preschool. I don't know what I'll do, but it might involve Target, sushi, and more Nutella. Master gave me clothes!